Bits and Bytes

20 years ago in The Caliper
This is the 20th anniversary of this newsletter. In the first issue, which was printed by an IBM Selectric typewriter controlled by an Apple II computer, we announced our Frequency Meter program for Apple II and our first (and only) Commodore 64 program, Precision Timer.

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Science Humor (according to David Vernier)
We have been producing this newsletter for 20 years— usually two issues per year. I can honestly say that one of the hardest things about doing it has been coming up with science-related jokes that do not offend anyone, and are at least a little funny. So, I am going to take this opportunity to repeat my favorite science jokes from twenty years of searching.


Joke #1
Three brothers went out west to establish a cattle ranch. They could not think of an appropriate name for the ranch. They called their physicist father back east and he suggested the name “Focus,” for that’s “where the sun’s rays meet.”

(I first saw this triple pun in Isaac Asimov’s Treasury of Humor). Al Bartlett turned this into a quadruple pun by a clever addition:

When their father died, the name took on added significance as it was now, “where the morning sun’s rays meet.”

Joke #2
The museum guard proudly told the visitors that the dinosaur bones on display were “60,000,005 years old.” When asked how the age could be known so precisely, the guard said, “I don’t know how they do it, but when I started working here five years ago, they told me that the bones were 60 million years old.” (This lesson in significant digits came from John McGervey’s book Probabilities in Everyday Life, 1986, Nelson-Hall, Inc.)

Joke #3
After he received his Nobel Physics Award in 1927, Arthur Compton was very much in demand as a speaker at universities and conferences. He wasn’t really very interested in public speaking, so he developed a standard speech which he repeated whenever necessary. To make these public speaking obligations more tolerable to Compton, he was provided with a chauffeur who drove him to the site, and who then sat in the back of the hall until the speech was over. One night on the way to a talk, Compton was complaining about having to deliver the speech again. The chauffeur responded, “If you think it’s boring giving that speech over and over, think about how boring it is for me having to listen to it. I know the whole speech word for word.”

Well, that got Compton thinking. It occurred to him that nobody at the lecture hall knew what he looked like. He arranged to trade clothes with the chauffeur and let him give the speech. Compton took a seat at the back of the hall as the chauffeur began to speak. The speech was given flawlessly. Thunderous applause followed. The master of ceremonies then called the speaker back for a short question-and-answer session. The first question was on the kinetic energy of the recoiling electron in X-ray scattering experiments. The chauffeur listened carefully to the question and then responded, “That is a really dumb question. In fact, that question is so dumb, I think I’ll have my chauffeur answer it.”

Palm OS® Data Collection: Why Vernier Offers the Best Solution
Two years after our first release of Palm OS products at Vernier, we have the very best Palm solution across the curriculum. Here are some reasons:

• New! Our new Data Pro Palm 5 Package supports the following Palm OS handhelds: Zire 71, Tungsten T, Tungsten T2, Tungsten C, Tungsten W, m500, and m515.
• New! Our Data Pro kit now includes a plastic cradle that slips into LabPro’s built-in grooves. With the new cradle in place, you can mount any of the Palm handhelds we support right on top of the interface. Unlike other systems, this allows you to hold both the interface and the Palm in one hand.
• New! Our Science with Handhelds lab book now includes not just the original 42 experiments, but a total of 234 Vernier experiments on its CD, including student experiments and teacher information. These are all the experiments found in our physics, chemistry, biology, middle school science, Earth science, water quality, physical science, and nuclear radiation lab books.
• Don’t forget that we also support data collection on the popular Dana by AlphaSmart®, with its wide screen and keyboard.
• Coming Soon! Version 1.5 of Data Pro (free upgrade if you have purchased earlier versions), which will be our first full-color version of Data Pro. Check our web site in April for this upgrade.

For additional information on Palm products at Vernier, visit http://www.vernier.com/palm/